It is important to know if you are in an abusive relationship that:
● You are not the only one experiencing abuse
● You are not to blame
● You cannot change the abuser’s behaviour
● Don’t remain isolated – break the silence – tell someone about what you are experiencing
● There is life after an abusive relationship
What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual or mental abuse of one person by another, with whom they have / have had an intimate relationship. It can also include family members. Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off event. It tends to escalate in frequency and severity over time and incorporates a range of different behaviours
Physical Abuse includes:
● Punching, kicking, slapping, hair pulling, use of weapons
● Rape or sexual assault
Emotional Abuse includes:
● Humiliation and degradation
● Behaviour that controls and undermines your feelings
● Always blaming you for things
● Chipping away at your self-esteem
● Threatening you/the children
● Blackmailing you
● Belittling you in front of others, making you feel small and stupid
Structure of Abuse
The abuser will often make you feel:
● Exhausted by constant demands, phone calls and text messages
The abuser will often enforce trivial demands and make displays of total power or control.
You have to remember that an abuser has distorted perspectives and you are not to blame.
Admitting to yourself and others that it is abuse you are experiencing is hard. It is however a very important step towards beginning to get protection for yourself and your children.
Originally compiled by Ailsa Paton